Teenager??

Why should it be so hard to find yourself?

Why should you go through all the problems with low self-esteem?

Why are you so angry over nothing?

Why do you feel that your life collapses around you?

I am 19 and I am just about to be over being a "typical teenager".

However, I have a sister who is in the middle of it, and after a lot of talking with my parents about how annoying I think she is, they could tell me that I was virtually the same in my period. They later said that they cannot understand how quickly I forgot my teenage period which was equally fraught with problems and speculation as my sisters.

I can not understand why I had to remember it?

Gradually, as my sister talking out loud about some of the speculation she is having, I can recognize how the feeling. The worst thing is that I am doing exactly what I least wanted from my family when I was fiercely and generally angry at everything and everyone: come with suggestions and good words.

Because I did not listen when my parents came with suggestions on solutions, but instead I either walked away or so I found a new problem. The same I see with my sister, and I give her advice - which she do not want or want to hear. I've tried to remember back to what I wanted when I was in those situations, but I cannot remember, because I'm pretty sure I did not want anything. Nothing was really good enough but there is still a difference between my sister and me. For I have always come and talked to my parents about everything. It's certainly not because they are my "best friends", but because I trust them and they are good at listening, but my sister has a harder time talking out loud. I can not say why? I do not know nor remember how to properly help her!

However, I have experienced that one of my friends have said that she did not have any problems: with parents, with the self-esteem, the self-confidence nor with siblings and the classmates. I have often thought that she probably had them, but would not talk about them. Later I have found out that she really has not got a problem with how she looks, what people think of her because she does not let herself think that way. My emotions and thoughts could not be controlled so I am truly amazed. 

It is a struggle and it is for her too. It probably is for all who are in the teenage period. Everyone reach a point where their body goes mad, and when the brain shuts down completely for centers with important things like empathy and compassion. One of my periods during the teenageperiod was that I was completely unsympathetic, bordering on the obnoxious. The worst thing was that I could not break out of the circle - I think. I would not stop being angry, I would not be running down to my mom or dad and say sorry after being really angry at them, I would not be with my sister just because. But it's damn hard to be that way. I remember several episodes where I wanted to be embraced by my father, and then just allow my self to cry without a specific reason.

Unfortunately, there is not any places where the fence is low, so you can jump over there and get easily through it. For some it is a high-rise, others a hedge or fence. I had a difficult time.

Actually, I'm not sure what I wanted with this bulletin?

You often feel alone in the world, when you walk around as a teenager, for there is none of your friends who talk loudly about the problems, or you cannot put yourself into a friend's difficulties. The call here is probably more to you that maybe is in the teenage period right now, when things get tough, and I can only say:

Yes it does!

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Hvorfor skal det være så hårdt, at finde sig selv?

Hvorfor skal man igennem alle de problemer med lavt selvværd?

Hvorfor bliver man så vred over ingenting?

Hvorfor føler man, at ens liv styrter sammen omkring en?

Jeg er 19 og er netop ved at være over det, at være “typisk teenager”. 

Derimod har jeg en søster der er midt i det, og efter mange snakke med mine forældre om, hvor irriterende jeg synes hun er, har de kunne fortælle mig, at jeg stort set var på samme måde i min periode. De har senere sagt, at de ikke kan forstå, hvor hurtigt jeg har glemt min teenageperiode, der var lige så fyldt med problemer og spekulationer som min søsters. 

Jeg kan ikke forstå, hvorfor jeg skulle huske på dem?

Efterhånden, som min søster snakker højt om nogle af de spekulationer hun går rundt med, kan jeg godt genkende hvordan hun har det. Det værste er, at jeg gør lige det, jeg allermindst ønskede fra min familie dengang jeg var indædt og generelt sur på alt og alle: kommer med forslag og gode ord.

For jeg hørte ikke efter når mine forældre kom med forslag på løsninger, men enten gik jeg eller så fandt jeg et nyt problem. Det samme ser jeg med min søster, og jeg giver hende gode råd. Jeg har prøvet, at huske tilbage på, hvad jeg ønskede, når jeg sad i de situationer, men jeg kan intet huske, for jeg er ret sikker på, jeg ikke ønskede noget. Intet var rigtig godt nok. Men der er stadig forskel på min søster og jeg. For jeg er altid kommet og snakket med mine forældre om alt. Det er bestemt ikke, fordi de er mine ”bedstevenner”, men fordi jeg stoler på dem, og de er gode til at lytte, men det har min søster haft sværere ved. Jeg kan ikke sige hvorfor.

Derimod har jeg oplevet, at en af mine veninder har sagt, at hun slet ikke har de problemer: med forældre, med selvværdet, med selvtilliden, med søskende og klassen. Jeg har oftest tænkt, at hun sikkert havde dem, men ikke ville snakke om dem, men hun har virkelig ikke nogle problemer med, hvordan hun ser ud, hvad folk synes om hende osv. fordi hun lader ikke sig selv tænke sådan.

Men det er en kamp, og det er det også for hende. Det er det nok for alle der er i teenageperioden. Alle når et eller andet punkt, hvor deres krop går fra forstanden, og hvor hjernen lukker helt ned for centre, med vigtige ting som empati og medfølelse. En af mine perioder i perioden, var at jeg blev fuldstændig usympatisk, grænsende til det modbydelige. Det værste var, at jeg ikke kunne bryde ud af den cirkel – synes jeg i hvert fald på det tidspunkt. Jeg ville ikke lade være med at være vred, jeg ville ikke rende ned til min mor eller far, og sige undskyld efter at have været rigtig vred på dem, jeg ville ikke være sammen med min søster bare fordi. Men det er skide hårdt, at være sådan. Jeg husker flere episoder, hvor jeg havde lyst til at blive omfavnet af min far, og så bare få lov til at græde, uden speciel grund. 

Desværre er der bare ikke nogle steder, hvor gærdet er lavt, så man kan springe over dér og komme nemt igennem det. For nogle er det et højhus, andre en hæk eller et hegn. Jeg havde det ikke nemt.

Faktisk er jeg i tvivl om, hvad jeg ville med det her opslag. 

Man føler sig tit alene i verdenen, når man går rundt og er teenager, for der er ingen af ens venner, der snakker højt om problemerne, eller så kan man ikke sætte sig ind i en vens vanskeligheder. Opslaget her, er nok mere til jer der måske er i teenageperioden, hvor alt ser sort ud, og til det kan jeg kun sige:

Ja det gør! 

Men.. Sig tingene højt overfor venner, fjender og familie.